You can't be me, but you can do your best, and that's what's important ... mostly

The smile on my face from the cheese/fancy lady comment is almost enough to make up for the profound horror of the Arnold video. Actually, no it isn't. I feel icky having seen that, even knowing such a video exists. Ick yuck ick. Make it go away!

I just had a great idea for a website! You know the idea of companies or people buying carbon "credits" to offset business as usual, with the idea that someone somewhere else puts out less carbon? Check this out - VEGAN credits! I'll be a vegan for a day, and David can gorge himself on Apizza Scholls, GUILT-FREE (no pork though, David)! Put the idea on a website, and all that vegan guilt goes away. God, talk about making the world a better place! Can you imagine a world with less grouchy, dairy-deprived, over-soyed, depressed vegans? I think we all can. And it's like eBay, the website gets a per-transaction fee from the deguilted (so-called! ha!) vegan. Want a real croissant? Someone, somewhere, will eat one less croissant for you, for a fee.

You might say I am a genius. You might say my idea could save the world and engender levels of goodwill among men...and the ladies...heretofore unprecedented in the history of not just this world, but of all conceivable worlds. You probably should say that, actually. But thinking it is good enough, because, let's face it, I realize not everyone can rise to my level of greatness. So, well, thanks for doing the best you collectively can. It's not much, but I appreciate the meager, meager efforts that I'm going to assume you all are doing, or going to do, or have preemptively done, in my honor.